Parenting: My Perfect Children Are Perfect

Parents in my neck of the woods, and I’m sure yours too, are pressured to be able to do it all with minimal help and a smile on our faces. And we ARE doing it! ALL! Perfectly. With smiles on our faces, always! And tweeting about it (follow me @penandthimble)!

As I write this at 3:38 in the afternoon, I’m totally showered (nope), makeup on (what is a makeup?), dressed in clothes I could answer the door in (nope), and not at all nursing my 19 month-old while she does some painful boob twisting acrobatics thing (whyyy?). Doing it all!

Since I’m so perfect, and so are you, it is no surprise that our children are perfectly perfect in all the things.

My perfect children are happy and polite always. My 19-month old has never cried because she wanted a different water bottle. Neither has my 4yo. Not once! They love all bottles equally!

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My perfect little perfectionists started reading at 12mo. To themselves. Their favorite books are It by Stephen King and any lift-the-flap books they can get her hands on.

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She *read* the merchandizing plan, naturally.

My perfect-y perfect delights love balanced whole-grain, home-cooked meals three times a day (with one healthy snack at 4). I know this is how it is in my house. I could never imagine a life wherein my kid only eats french fries and cookies all day. And snacks all day long. And we never eat take-out. Ever. Real talk, my kids have never eaten a french fry in their life.

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My sweet babies of perfection take no interest in screen time because TV is gross and my kids are sacred jewels who hate the idea of TV and screens.

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My perfectly perfect children are in bed by 7pm and awake by 7am dressed, hair in a bow, teeth brushed, ready to start the day with a smile–that’s just how she wakes up! Yours too, right?
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Since I have been #blessed with self-regulating, non-snacking, reading-on-their-own toddlers, I try to fill my long days to myself with long bubble baths, journaling, naps, and just being, well…perfect! Which I’ll tell you all about in another blog post some day!

Spoilers:

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PS. Want to get your little bundles of perfection something extra? Help them clean up with a FREE reusable napkin with every $15+ purchase in my Etsy shop now through Thanksgiving!

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